"It is by showing up for the full encounter with reality that we discover our hidden wholeness, which was, of course, present all along." ~ Mirabai Starr
Freedom within our life circumstances
Cynthia Bourgeault: "The word ‘surrender’ itself means to ‘hand oneself over’ or ‘entrust oneself’. It is not about outer capitulation but about inner opening. It is always voluntary, and rather than an act of weakness, it is always an act of strength … because it opens the heart more directly to the more subtle realms of spiritual Wisdom and energy. …. When the attitude of prompt surrender has become permanently engrained in a person while still in bodily life, that person becomes a powerful servant of humanity whose very being radiates blessing and spiritual strength."
Thomas Keating describes our “programs for happiness”, which he says mainly center around three primary needs:
our need for security,
our need for approval, and
our need to be in control.
James Finley says that if there were zero variance between our conditions for happiness and what actually is, we would be perfectly peaceful and contented, and would no longer suffer.
The ego, by definition, resists reality, because its very existence is defined by hard boundaries, assertion of “our will” against “God’s will”, or against what is Real.
The serenity prayer:
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can change.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.
Joyce Rupp: “We find ourselves grumbling when life does not give us all we want or when the price of transformation costs us dearly. Failures, defeats and disillusionments temporarily wipe out our hope of reaching the promised land of our true self until we realise these very experiences are steppingstones to the wisdom we need.”
Richard Rohr: “God comes to you disguised as your life.”
Freedom within our inner emotional landscape
Eckhart Tolle: “Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.”
Working with emotions:
Let go of the narrative that fuels them
Try to welcome our emotions, allowing them to be here (name and bow)
Feel them in your body physically - their shape, whether they make you feel hot, jagged, shaky, icy, …
Do this with kindness and compassion
This allows them to become re-integrated into the whole of us
When they start to feel overwhelming, return to the breath as a stable anchor
Welcoming prayer / practice:
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I welcome everything that comes to me in this moment because I know it is for my healing.
I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, situations and conditions.
I let go of my desire for security.
I let go of my desire for approval.
I let go of my desire for control.
I let go of my desire to change any situation, condition, person, or myself.
I open to the love and presence of God and the healing action and grace within.
Matt Licata: "Healing is not a destination, it is your willingness to love all of yourself, to take all of life - the joy and the sorrow of it - into your vast heart."
Rainer Maria Rilke: “How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all cultures – the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses. Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.
So you mustn't be frightened if a sadness rises before you larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything that you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hands and will not let you fall. Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, or any depression? After all, you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you."
Ruth Burrows: “Surrender and abandonment are like a deep, inviting, frightening ocean into which we are drawn. We make excursions into it to test it, to see whether it's safe, to enjoy the sensation of it. But, for all kinds of reasons, we always go back to dry land, to solid ground, to where we are safe. But the ocean beckons us out anew and we risk again being afloat in something bigger than ourselves. And we keep doing that, wading in and then going back to safety, until one day, when we are ready, we just let the waters carry us away."